Nothing

I felt nothing yesterday...no cramping...nothing. I am starting to retain water which is usually the sign that this didn't work.

Is it better to have hope and be crushed if it didn't work? Everyone wants me to have hope and be positive, but in the past that has just crushed me when I get a negative. I have always been the type of person to expect the worst so I'm ready for it. If I'm wrong, then its a great surprise. But everyone says I need to be positive for this to work, so I have no idea. This is very frustrating. I know IVF is a different animal than just trying naturally and even IUIs, but I think my emotions are still the same.

I also feel like our life is on hold. I have one set of plans for if we have kids and another set if we don't. What kind of house we'd have, the car we'd drive, etc. are all dependent on which set of plans. That seems odd but in my mind its too different lives.

I hope this post wasn't too much of a downer, but I think that's just how I'm feeling!