Christmas!

I got the best ornament from a secret santa!!!

I have the best friend in the world!

My best friend lives in Arkansas. She called me tonight and said she wanted to know when I wanted her up here when the baby comes. I told her that I was most worried about having someone here to take me to the hospital when the baby comes. She said then she'll be here. That makes me feel so much better to know that I won't be alone. And she's had a baby plus I totally wouldn't feel bad about screaming or crying or anything with her around.

Even with the good news, I miss my husband. He writes the sweetest emails to me, but nothing compares to having him here. I just miss him terribly.

Tough Day

So much has happened...not sure where to start. I guess the first part is we have had a roller coaster of a month. Drew got offered a job working in Nigeria (6 weeks and 2 weeks home). It was a process of waiting for approvals from each of the partner companies and the staffing company. Then we had to wait for the paperwork to fill out the visa and wait for visa approval. On Monday, he found out the visa was approved, and the company wanted him over there ASAP. Because of the complexity of the situation and the high chance of refusal at any of the prior levels, he hadn't told his boss before. He told him he was quitting. And that they wanted him to leave on Saturday. Thankfully the boss agreed to let him go on Friday.

So we had less than 24 hours to buy all the stuff he needs which included shopping all over town for a hardcase suitcase and for shower shoes (in November in North Dakota). Plus we were both nervous and scared and trying to remember everything. It was so tense and emotional. And I am sure pregnancy hormones have not helped at all.

I didn't help much at all...at least at the airport today. I just couldn't help but cry when I saw him go. I will just miss him so very much. I saved the real big crying for when I got in the car to leave, so I tried to be as strong as I could. But my mind kept thinking of the anniversary and the birthday that I'll be alone and how the house will be so lonely without him. It just came at me all at once. I guess that's why the advice to take one day at a time is so important. Still I know the nights will be quiet and lonely especially. During the day, I can keep busy with stuff. I plan on sorting and throwing and organizing, so that everything is done when he is home.

Bleeding

I haven't updated because I frankly don't like what's been going on. I came home early from work on Friday because I had brown spotting. The nurse line at the RE's office said don't worry unless you're soaking a pad an hour. Well I went to bed and it stopped before 5pm. All good until I woke up Sunday morning. I had light pink bleeding (not spotting). It stopped again before noon. This is driving me crazy. And I have a jam packed week ahead but I still think the ultrasound on the 15th can't get here fast enough. I sure hope everything is OK but there really is no way to know until the ultrasound. And there really is nothing anyone can do either. I'm on tons of progesterone support and that's about the only thing they can do to stop an early pregnancy loss is if your progesterone is low. That's not a problem. So I try not to stress for another 11 days when we hopefully will get to hear a wonderful heartbeat!

7538

Well I guess that number is more than 5000. We have a doubling time of a little over 36 hours. Twins are still a possibility at this point. Our ultrasound will be 10/15 so that's the next hurdle. If we hear the heartbeat and everything is still OK, then the chance of miscarriage drops to 3% so we're ready to tackle that hurdle!

5000

That's what we need to have for a number today. If so, then the HCG is doubling about every 48 hours. I hope this works!

We had a pretty quiet weekend. I do feel naseua on and off but luckily its not gotten to the point of being sick. I am tired but I woke up at 5:30am again today. I am not exactly happy about this new sleep schedule at all. We also looked at a Mercury Mariner this weekend. If hubby works out of town, then I need a vehicle that can fit the dog's crate in it. The Audi A4 just doesn't cut it.

Dreams

Apparently night before last, I had a dream. Hubby said I sat up in bed and looked him and said, "Pink, pink, pink...(giggle, giggle)....there would be large quantities of pink." I have no idea what this means. My brother is having a girl, so I might have thought of that. Or maybe we're having a girl.

For years, I had definite views of wanting a specific gender for a baby, but I think infertility has made me realize that I am so elated to have a baby, I really don't care.

As far as symptoms, I do have some nausea (but not vomiting...thank GOD!). I have been tired, but my sleeping patterns are strange. I want to sleep all day but have problems falling asleep at night and I wake up early (which is so not like me).